Alone? How to be alone with God!

Trusting God with everything is the only way to go.  I have lived most of my life trying to make things happen or being mad at someone for things not going the way I think they should and i can tell you it does not work.  But prayer and trusting God is the only way to live.  When I finally give everything over to Him and just completely trust Him that feeling can not compeer to any other.  I can have a drink and it kinda numbs me or gives me the silly giggles or I can take a pill which I have done in the past of course prescribed by the Doctor and that is almost the same as drinking it does a little something but still a few days in and the same old feeling of dread and defeat.  But when I go to my Father and tell Him my sorrows and then I let it go completely and I look deep into the future of the might Be's or could Be's I just have this feeling of confidence wash over me.  Not that he will prevent any and every single bad thing that could come my way but the knowing and the feeling of I can handle it.  We have to realize bad things do happen to us and we can not figure them out.  The answer to the why does not come but what does come is the knowing that I have a heavenly Father who is supernatural and real and alive and He is everything to me he is my fortress I could try to place that on my husband but Scott is an earthly vessel and he will make mistakes and he will hurt me though unintentional.  But when I look to God and I draw close to Him and put all my trust in Him and Him alone I feel this great strenght whell up inside of me and I know that come what may I will be more than a conquer.  I want to be strong and independent here but totally dependent of my God.  He knows my fears he knows what is up ahead waiting for me that might shake my world and just knowing that he has gone before me gives me the strength I need.   I have always known that God loves me but I have never been in this place where I just don't care about what goes on here in this world.  Oh I do care about pleasing my Father and doing his bidding but as far as earthly possessions and achievements not so much.  I find my self getting caught up in all of this from time to time and then I just stop and realize how much time I have spent on the what ifs and I am once again annoyed at myself.  I hate when I put the responsibility on Scott or my girls for my happiness or even my boss.  I have realized that is wrong I am responsible for my own happiness and it lye's in giving it all over to the Creator of the Universe who loves and adores me and has my very best interest in mind.   To know that He is alive and working on my behalf if I will just allow Him to work and quit getting in the way with my emotions.  To rest in His bosom.  That may sound weird and you may ask well how do I do that?  You have to take time out of this world to be alone.   I mean ALONE  that is hard but it is getting easier on the boat but I mean really even now I still have to fight for this.  I am working which means I am surrounded by people all day I come home and Kimmy and Scott are here and I love them.  But today I have asked to be alone and yes I had to ask for that.  I asked Scott to take Kimmy shopping which I now hate to do.  And I get to go to the library blog clean walk on the beach what ever I want.  Even then I have to say how will I spend time with God.  I plan to block out part of my day just to sit on the bow of the boat and look at the beauty of the sky, water and the boats passing by and as I do this I will thank Him and praise Him and relish in the alone time that I have with Him.  I also try to sit each night under the stars gazing up realizing that He is here waiting to be acknowledged and spoken to.  When I do these things and even now I feel His presence I feel the warmth of His love flowing into me and I find comfort.  Jesus said that He had to leave us so that the Holy Spirit the comforter could come to us and He has and He is with us always and will be until the rapture.  I look forward to the rapture but I also look forward to being used by God to speak and teach the lost and bring them into the saving knowledge that Jesus is the way the only way to Heaven and it is simple just ask Jesus into your heart believe that He is the son of God and ask God to show you how real and alive He is.  And He will show you.  Things happen that could only happen because a force greater than we are is orchestrating situations on our behalf not just so that we will have comforts in this life but so that the lost and unbelieving will believe and be able to go to heaven and be with us one day.  This is my call to be a witness of these things.  It is your call too.  I pray that anyone who reads this will be saved and will let me know.  God Bless You and may you now go and try your best to get in a quiet place alone with the Almighty so that He may shower you with His presence and show you what great plans He has for you.